I was limited by my own beliefs or external factors far from my ability to change much from others’ lives. However, I couldn’t get upset if someone didn’t see the light in my heart and the spark in my eyes. I was shining from within, and I shared it with the surrounding, unfortunately when kept in dark for so long was hard for someone to adapt to a very strong light all of a sudden and I needed some time to adjust and be patient with everyone new I met. Sometimes I didn’t know to appreciate what I received because I was not used to it, I walked with broken shoes or even bare feet on sharp stones and rough roads. The hardest part was to accept that others’ lives don’t depend on how much I loved them or how much I was willing to give them. I was only responsible for my life and that was the only one where I should give my opinion. When someone decided to leave or stay, to live or die, I was powerless because I took decisions regardless of others’ feelings but based on my own needs and expectations. Every type of intervention in others’ decisions was not only selfish and unnecessary and by the end of this article, you will also understand better what was all about.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
― Leo Tolstoy

I met people in my life and got closer to them, spending enough time together to learn their habits and the way they were. We spent hours, days, months, or years together and I always got the false impression that I knew better what was best for them. I gave advice to children, spouses, and friends like I was entitled to give my own opinion. But how many times I cared what they really wanted, and it wasn’t only what I thought will suit them better? I thought was better for some to get married and have offspring, others to keep their career or maybe to travel abroad. Did I wear their shoes and asked if what I recommended was actually what my friends desired? How many times did I care about what others truly wanted besides my selfish perspective? I loved people in my life and wished for them to remain longer next to me, but did I ever ask any of them if they wanted that so or if they were too embarrassed to leave? Was money involved or were parents prejudiced? I chose sometimes people in my life because I felt I was alone, and I continued our lives together because I didn’t want to be lonely. I spent years of my life investing feelings and emotions in a relationship that wasn’t fulfilling me, but I lived with the hope that one-day things will get better. I was getting comfortable in relationships, and I adjusted my needs based on limited expectations as long I didn’t need to put in much effort. I was rotten with regrets and yet still kept the family standards because it was too hard for me to admit that the love, I got was from the clearance aisle.

“It’s only after you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow, and transform.”
― Roy T. Bennett

I couldn’t predict the future even if that could be a great deal in avoiding these disasters in love, but unfortunately, I could only go through it and decided later if it was a good place to stay or to leave. But many times, I got myself trapped in the spider web set up by mistake and I found it impossible to release myself from there. I gave up my dreams, my hopes, and my career for the sake of my children, and my vacations were just a pile of stressful time spent in the same routine copied from the Groundhog movie. What if even though I made so many mistakes there was still a chance to change my future and replace the clearance section of my life with the top brand merchandisers? What if instead of rushing through the broken hearts that were left unloved on aisle seven, I would visited the ones that seemed sturdy and polished with care? I could choose more carefully and decide on a place in life where I don’t have to rush and randomly pick something on my way out but made a list of all the characteristics I wanted to have in life. What if instead of a stormy passionate but chemical-destructive product I could choose something with a sturdy backbone and polished outcome? Someone that can be careful with the way was handling me, someone that cared about quality, and someone that was able to put effort and invest more than a few random messages whenever the time was proper for them? Don’t even think to say that was not affordable! My sanity, health, and happiness were mandatory and if none of those were found in my basic needs, probably the place to shop was not fitting my standards either. Long-term investments were always good for a lifetime plan rather than a quick income for spare change. If life alone seemed scary, I should never forget what heartbreak and betrayal felt like, what sleepless nights and worries were, and how important peaceful moments were in front of an endless battle to survive.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
― Rumi

The choosing part was not all, because these always brought a small bonus. The good part was that whatever was coming would not try to manipulate or change no one. I remembered that once I left my dreams behind and I lived for others, I was never able to fulfill my mission in this life on Earth. Even if someone decided to leave, I should have the strength to let them go no matter how much I loved them. However, before finding myself in front of such a struggle and painful situation, I should never forget to put in enough effort and enjoy the journey of this life. If there was not a desire to see the other one happy and to support their dreams, and if there was not one action based on personal ego or false expectations, then everything should be seen as the last day lived on Earth. The memories I left for others, which I kept inside the pocket of the ripped jeans would be just the triggering point that would keep together all the memories I gathered. That was why so important to not choose the love from the clearance aisle because those hearts were already so damaged and no matter how much I would tried to fix them, I would never succeed. I made probably many times the mistake to try to fix someone that was so broken that did not want to continue their journey and the burdens were too heavy, but each of us had our own baggage to carry, and mine was already too heavy. I could try to change their mind and redirect their boat to calmer waters, but I would never be able to change someone’s life as long as they were not willing to do it, so why bother? So please stop trying to fix the broken hearts too and tell me, are you willing to sign a contract where you would guarantee your own life and not choose any other love from the clearance aisle? Would you make a pact with yourselves and sign here ______________________?

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
― Joseph Campbell

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