Shaping Your Future by Setting Boundaries


“Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.”
― Jim Carrey


I had a feeling that I was going to disappoint you right from the beginning, but based on my understanding, people don’t change their behaviour. Everything that defines who we are resides within every cell of our body, every nerve in our brain, and every beat of our heart. While behaviours and beliefs may change over time, our personality remains the front cover of our book. We may create another cover to appear polished and bright, but our true selves cannot be changed by anyone.

With that in mind, it’s important to always remember that only what we allow will continue to shape our lives. This applies to the feelings we permit to manifest, the communication and words we choose to express, and how much of our dreams and fantasies we allow to become reality. If someone hurts us, it’s because we allowed them to do so. Otherwise, that person wouldn’t even know what we’re dealing with in our minds. If we allow something to repeat endlessly in our lives, it’s solely because we have allowed it to happen.

Let’s take a moment to imagine a race between a predator and its prey. The prey fights with all its strength to save its life from the hungry predator, who seeks to make it a tasty dinner. It’s true that after a long race, the prey may become weaker and eventually allow its life to end in a cold, yet natural manner. However, this happens only after giving everything it could to survive. None of them would willingly allow someone to take their lives from the very beginning. For humans, the situation is slightly different. Once we allow someone else to control our thoughts, actions, or dreams, it is akin to a slow and painful death. The timing of these actions has no specific place in time. They can occur before, during, or after the realization that we are the only ones responsible for allowing the course of our lives. Otherwise, what we allow is what will continue.

“When we aren’t honest with ourselves about who we are and what we want, we allow other people and circumstances to determine our life course.”

― Cortney S. Warren

Dreams and wishes were little whispers in my head, urging me to allow them to grow and granting them the space and opportunity to expand. I should warn you that setting yourself free came with a harder period than I had anticipated. The dark night of the soul helped me release some of the burdens and allowed me to become the person I was meant to be. There was a bottom point I had to reach before I could rise, but from there onwards, everything became better than ever before.

Nature always provided me with examples that made understanding easier and explanations clearer. I observed two flowers in the same pot, with healthy soil, water, light, and warmth. Initially, everything seemed perfect and beautiful. However, as time went on, the two flowers began to compete for resources, not because they didn’t love each other, but because that’s how nature works. Eventually, one flower thrived and became stronger, creating an imbalanced condition for the other. The weaker flower began to lose space, and nutrients and remained in the shadow of the stronger one. The best option would have been to be replanted in the backyard, but instead, it ended up in the garbage.

The bottom point marked a turning point for the once beautiful flower, where it fought to survive with every bit of strength remaining in its stem, leaves, and roots. On the long journey from the garbage back to the soil, the plant had to find a way to live. And when the bumpy road finally ended, freedom awaited. Although I didn’t actually end up in the garbage, and hopefully, my bottom point wasn’t that low, the course of events was similar. It was a scary and perilous route, but sometimes it was the only path to take. And when it finally set me free, I allowed only what was meant to be to continue.

“Your soul will finally be set free, once you allow yourself to be who you were meant to be, instead of what others say you should.”

― Christine E. Szymanski

Many signs kept getting in my way, but I often ignored them. The people I met along my journey were sometimes omens or souls with lessons to teach or something to take from me. These interactions were meant to happen for a reason, and every time I disregarded the signs, the patterns repeated until I finally learned the lesson. Hearing or reading stories alone wasn’t enough to bring about the precious realizations. Unfortunately, I needed to go through harder experiences to truly understand.

My body would give me signs when something wasn’t working well. I had to be careful because too much stomach acid could kill the butterflies within. Drinking poison and spreading venom wouldn’t harm the ones I thought about, but it would damage my own health. We live such short lives and yet we waste so much time on unnecessary thoughts and actions. It was time for me to allow myself to smile more often, to be clumsy and have fun, to lose control and run barefoot on the grass or even in the snow, to get dirty in a muddy puddle, and to truly feel the world around me.

The present is called that way because it is the gift we have for the day. Waking up each morning granted me another chance to reach out to someone I missed, to apologize, to fix something, or simply to enjoy another moment under the sun. The power of my mind, the practice of manifestation, and the strength of prayers were far stronger than any medicine ever invented. I understood that what I allowed in my life was what would continue to shape my reality.

“Have we ever thought to consider that God allows things in our lives to die so that in that death we might come to the precious realization of how little we’ve actually lived in the first place?”

― Craig D. Lounsbrough

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