Simplicity, reality, grounding myself in everyday behaviours and rituals, living in the moment with pure human interaction, saying things as they were, and making my own living were all essential. The more I nurtured myself, the more I was able to nurture others without having to do anything special. I was the soft embrace from God that I used to dust myself off, pick myself up, and keep on. I was trying to reconcile the divine and natural realms, and by embracing the desires for tangible and material objects, I taught the rest of us how to do the same. The secret to living a happy life was to have a clear understanding of what was meaningful to me. The more inner serenity I found, the more caring and happy my life and friendships could be. It was a matter of moments to realize that I could exchange my old behaviours and thoughts carried throughout time and release the karma only by changing my thoughts. From characteristics such as anger… extremism… manipulative… … secretive… overly strong… loving chaos… selfishness… possessive… vicious… judgmental… caustic… distrustful… suspicious… threatening I could become: an inventive…builder…faithful…stay patient…gold medal winner…earth-friendly…encouraging…heartwarming…reliable…devoted…blissful…devoted to the family…security-friendly. All the old thoughts had an opposite, and like a yin and yang, they came into balance, so adding a new set of thoughts next to mine would create miracles. These life circumstances, though unsettling and frightening, were necessary for the transition that needed to take place. Their potent effects were needed to cleanse my spirit of old ideals in order for it to go on with the creation of a new beginning. Still, no matter how tough, I had to step on. I had to let go of my terrifying subconscious experiences and refocus on regaining confidence in life and the people in it. I had to distinguish the past from the present and recognize that my deep-seated fear of indefinite imprisonment was residue from prior lifetimes…a recollection that could and should be restored now because I had the power over my life in every moment.

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

When everything crumbled and fell down after my hard work, it meant that it wasn’t the time for it, and I had to let go. But not before realizing the lessons I had been taught from that experience. The hard part came afterwards when I needed to put everything back together, and I didn’t even have the strength to get out of bed. The unknown and the new were scary and overwhelming, but I possessed an insane virtue called strength.

Courage wasn’t just for the powerful people who dominated and presented themselves as strong and invincible. It was for me, as I felt my life depended on my strength. There was an invisible force, fueled by fear and determination, that enabled me to lift heavy burdens and leave behind old patterns. I swore that I would do everything humanly possible to never return to that point again. In my prayers, this was my most powerful wish—not only to get better but also to have the strength to remain in a place where nobody and nothing could break me down again.

Sometimes, I devoted too much time and effort to helping others at the expense of my own comfort and needs. I couldn’t grow my self-worth solely by relying on others; it had to come from within. Learning to define my aspirations based on my own ideals and then working patiently towards achieving them would help me find more peace and inner harmony.

“Courage isn’t having the strength to go on – it is going on when you don’t have strength.”

― Napoleon Bonaparte

To withdraw from the pain, I had to leave behind the old me, like releasing a snakeskin. There was so much wisdom in solitude, and it brought the peace that balanced my inner self and made me come back stronger than ever. Hate never helped me move on from any challenge because I needed to forget and release, replacing everything with love.

I wasn’t always prepared for what life wanted to teach me, and I found myself unbalanced, vulnerable, and weak. Instead of throwing sharp words and saying things that could never be replaced once spoken, I should have gone inside myself and healed my heart from everything that was meant to teach me lessons. I got hurt, and it was painful, but nothing lasted forever. As long as I lived this life on Earth, I should have learned to embrace and adopt new thoughts when all the old ones broke me to pieces.

One day at a time, one step forward, day by day, I learned to forgive, forget, and replace hate with love, without losing my powers but gaining better virtues that gave me back strength and peace.

“If you want to forget something or someone, never hate it, or never hate him/her. Everything and everyone that you hate is engraved upon your heart; if you want to let go of something, if you want to forget, you cannot hate.”

― C. JoyBell C.

Let go of:

  • The allure of crisis situations
  • Excessive involvement in others’ affairs
  • Impatience
  • Unsuitable levels of intensity
  • Tendencies to pass judgment
  • Fixation on others’ psychological motivations
  • Reluctance to cooperate with others’ wishes
  • Overreactions
  • Destructive actions aimed at removing a single element
  • Obsessive-compulsive inclinations

Embrace the new:

  • Devotion
  • Recognition of limits
  • Approaching things gradually
  • A feeling of self-value
  • Acknowledgement of individual principles
  • Endurance
  • Respecting both personal and others’ stated needs
  • Appreciation for the five senses
  • Thankfulness
  • Acknowledgement of the nurturing provided by Mother Earth
  • Letting go of resentment
  • Tenacity

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