I experienced the slow fading of my inner light, resembling a candle losing its radiance and merging with the darkness. In that realm, there was no beauty, love, or illumination, only unattainable dreams destined to remain unrealized. I made no effort to extinguish myself, for once submerged in the darkness, nothing could rescue me from the state of dissatisfaction, where everything appeared dull, cruel, and cold. Drops of blue blood trickled down the icy walls that enclosed me, while gloomy faces lined up before my eyes. Strangely, among those sorrowful visages, I even caught a glimpse of you—someone who seemed carefree, content with life, and utterly joyful. Those isolated chambers within the depths of my soul were always brimming with blue tears.

There existed a silver vessel wherein the traces of sadness accumulated daily, serving as an offering to all the grief and suffering. To access that place, no passport or formalities were required. I would awaken involuntarily, and at times, I resisted departing from it. Someone beckoned me, a ray of sunshine piercing through the dense darkness enveloping me, yet I concealed myself even more fervently within the night and disregarded the call. The voice called out a second time, but I remained motionless, petrified by fear. And then, the voice ceased to call. I waited for a long time, yearning to emerge, yet lacking a reason to do so. There was no one waiting for me outside, and I would have awakened alone amidst a barren desert. I would not have withstood the intensity of the sun’s glow, penetrating the eyes of countless unknown and inquisitive faces, filled with intrigue and curiosity. No, I certainly couldn’t withstand the social pressure, and thus, I chose to remain in solitude during the night, collecting my blue tears.

I started gathering, counting the tears until confusion engulfed me, overwhelmed by their sheer abundance, rendering me unable to complete the task. Watching the dawn was also out of reach, as its rays would easily melt me away. I couldn’t bear an excessive amount of love from him either, not after traversing the ocean of darkness all by myself. If only he had aided my swift escape from the depths and stood by my side when I needed support, I would have dared to journey across the world, clinging to those rays. But his radiance proved to be my undoing, melting me instead. It felt like I was sinking deeper into the darkness, yet I resolved to find him. Somewhere in this vast world, he existed. When I eventually passed away and descended into the depths of darkness, I knew he would be waiting on the opposite side. Perhaps he was laughing at me, or maybe he was the one who extended that ray of light that I had initially refused.

“The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.”
― Chuck Palahniuk

Nestled within the soil, I, a tiny poppy seed, lay dormant, brimming with untapped potential. The touch of gentle sunlight and the nourishing embrace of water awaken me from my slumber. Slowly but surely, I push my way through the earth’s surface, a slandered shoot stretching towards the heavens, a green stem delicately reaching out. Undeterred by the weight of the soil, I persist, defying the resistance around me, yearning for the light above. I stretched and grew, drawing strength from the energy within. Gradually, my shoot adorned itself with leaves, unfurling like ethereal emerald wings, capturing the warm caress of the sun’s rays and converting them into life-sustaining food. Days passed, and I matured, gaining resilience with each passing moment. My journey continued, defying gravity as I ascended, and the once-firm grip of the soil began to loosen. At the tip of my stem, a tiny bud emerged, a beautiful promise awaiting fulfilment. Day by day, the bud swelled and expands, brimming with excitement for its impending transformation. And at last, the tightly coiled petals unfurled, revealing the hidden splendour within. I unfolded into a mesmerizing poppy flower, adorned with delicate petals painted in shades of crimson red, a true reflection of nature’s artistic prowess. In full bloom, I swayed gently in the breeze, my slender stem stood tall and proud. Radiating with exquisite beauty, I beckon bees and butterflies with my nectar-rich centre, inviting them to partake in the sweetness I offered. From the humble seed buried beneath the surface, I have triumphed over challenges, pushing through the soil to declare my existence and shared my resplendent colours with the world. I stood as a testament to the resilience and beauty found within nature’s cycle of growth, a living testament to the wonders that arose from the simplest of beginnings.

I felt strong but I was a simple poppy flower, withering under the intensity of his light that proved too strong for my delicate petals. I was determined to emerge from the darkness, carried by the wind. I became a speck of dust, lost in the vast expanse of the Universe, caught within a cloud that carried me across the sky. He spotted me and transformed the air into raindrops, and with each tear that fell, I descended to the ground. He embraced me and gently placed me upon a blade of grass. From there, I seeped into the depths of the earth, shedding tears day and night upon a tiny grain of life. My tears dripped incessantly, awakening the grain, and there I bloomed as a beautiful rose. I blossomed for him, and as a token of gratitude, he allowed me to choose a portion of his garden to share my fragrance.

But as my radiance shone brightly, it eventually withered me and burned my petals, and once again, I found myself on the ground. No matter how high I ascended, I always returned, and it was only when I sank into the dense darkness with my life filled with blue tears that I truly grasped the essence of existence. A complete cycle of life: rising and falling, collapsing and then rising again with the aid of a luminous ray. I smiled, loved, sighed, and ultimately wept, crumpled with no trace left behind.

“I have noticed that even those who assert that everything is predestined and that we can change nothing about it still look both ways before they cross the street.”

― Stephen Hawking

Love proved to be an unpredictable force, capable of lifting me up and then burying me in darkness. It made me feel like the centre of the Universe, only to cast me aside in an instant, fading into oblivion. I searched for a love that would always be by my side, but it eluded my sight, deeming me too insignificant to notice, like a mere dandelion flake while I saw myself as a majestic rose from the Sun’s court. My sole desire was to please his radiant rays, and in my single-minded pursuit, I failed to observe my surroundings. However, he was cruel, casting a fleeting glance upon me, shattering my spirit, and callously placing me in his pocket. At that moment, I believed all my dreams had come true, but soon I began to wither because he did not offer me the life I yearned for. I faded away, and the grand Sun discarded me, replacing me with another youthful and beautiful rose, unaware that it too would wilt in due time.

As I was cast aside, I encountered that dandelion flake that had gone unnoticed but was desperately needed for my revival. Its pure and kind soul lent me assistance, allowing me to ascend once more. “Hold on tightly, beautiful soul,” it whispered, “for the journey is just beginning. No winds are too strong, no rains too heavy, because together we possess greater strength, and the darkness cannot conceal the inner beauty that radiates within us.”

“It’s possible to go on, no matter how impossible it seems.”

― Nicholas Sparks

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