I was made of atoms, and their vibrations shaped the physical form I perceived as my being until I found balance. The matter surrounding me took on various forms, and I understood that I was neither inherently good nor bad. I was simply composed of what I was made of water, dust, light, the sun, and energy. As I solidified into a particular shape, it became clear that regardless of what it was, it served its intended purpose. It was impossible to confuse a tree with a fish, a flower with a bird, or one human with another.

Moreover, I acknowledged the presence of an efficient cause, the creators who brought me into existence – my mother and father. They had given me the most perfect seed for the creation of a new life, and I felt grateful for their role in my existence. There were times when I wasn’t always thriving, and some moments when I felt like a misfit. However, as long as I served my purpose, I found contentment in who and what I was: whether a tree, a pine cone, an animal, or a plant.

As a human, I recognized that I possessed a unique capability among all creatures with form, shape, and purpose. I had the capacity to experience love and happiness. I could learn, understand, and achieve feats that were not granted to any other being. I held the power to mould clay pots that nurtured new life from soil and water. I could transform dust and rain into a shelter, even fashioning bricks from mushrooms. I could bring forth new living beings into existence. I was a creator.

With these gifts, I knew that I could find fulfilment, but only when I maintained balance and embodied virtues such as temperance, strength, courage, and justice in everything I created. As a human, I recognized the significant role I played as a creator, and it was through the harmonious integration of these virtues that I could truly thrive.

“The Golden Mean was considered a fundamental constant by the Egyptians and the fundamental division of the whole into two parts.”

― Richard Heath

Throughout my life, I was always taught that it was necessary to choose “good” over “bad,” but who truly knew what the ultimate truth was? Life presented me with challenges and opportunities to explore various experiences, leading me to confront decisions that demanded my attention. I had to rely on my reasoning, senses, and trust in my own mind. However, there remained an underlying uncertainty about whether my choices would prove to be right. If my beliefs had a weak foundation, they didn’t endure for long before I found myself changing my decisions.

There were moments when my entire life seemed to hinge on a single decision, one that couldn’t be reversed. In those instances, I needed to summon the courage to move forward, take risks, and trust that, in the end, things would fall into place, even if they were torn apart or reduced to ashes. Nonetheless, maintaining a sense of balance was crucial to avoid both deficiency and excess. When I strayed too far from my intended path, whether by falling behind or rushing to attain a grand prize through shortcuts, I couldn’t maintain a consistent pace and was at risk of becoming lost.

Life had its own rhythm, and I felt it just like everyone else in nature. Trees knew when to bloom, and animals prepared for the arrival of colder days. Similarly, I should have sought balance and paid closer attention to my own needs. When my life lacked equilibrium, I ran the risk of stumbling and wasting precious time trying to regain my footing.

“There are moments when I wish I could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away, but I have a feeling that if I did, the joy would be gone as well. So I take the memories as they come, accepting them all, letting them guide me whenever I can.”

― Nicholas Sparks

I have lived this life driven by emotions, allowing my feelings to dictate my actions. However, as my body became consumed by these sensations, my mind patiently waited for the physical tension to dissipate. Finding balance proved challenging when my focus was solely on the materialistic aspects of the world, draining myself with never-ending tasks and neglecting the importance of rest. In the midst of this chaos, I hurriedly pursued superficial gains, disregarding the needs of my soul, which remained neglected on the unreachable top shelf.

I avoided deep introspection, lacking the time to contemplate the true meaning of life, keeping myself occupied to evade grappling with profound questions. It wasn’t until a significant portion of my life had passed and I witnessed my children grow into young adults that I longed to turn back time and prioritize the nurturing of my soul. I realized that our souls were the only precious possessions we could carry into higher realms.

I should have embraced a life of peace, embodying temperance and virtue, so that when I reflect on my memories, I would not be burdened with shame or overwhelmed by regrets for missed opportunities to improve and discover the path to balance earlier.

“Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as birds’ wings.” – RUMI

I endeavoured to adhere to the notions of good and bad, immersing myself in the pursuit of aligning my actions with my beliefs. However, life waits for no one, and I felt compelled to keep pushing forward. But how could true progress be achieved if my actions lacked movement and remained fixated on a single direction? I accumulated all my knowledge and shaped it into my own personal truth. Yet, I soon realized that trying to encompass everything on one side and considering it the path of balance was an unattainable feat.

It was vital for me to establish a way to compare my actions, understanding that just as darkness is needed to perceive light, the same principle applied to distinguish between good and bad. But as I always willing to embrace the possibility of being wrong and making mistakes in order to discern the differences and choose the right path? If I clung rigidly to my beliefs and refused to deviate even slightly from my ideas, how could I expect to create movement or make any progress? To witness something in motion, I had to introduce changes and actively engage, for nothing remained stagnant without my active participation.

Similar to a butterfly seeking equilibrium on its journey, I too needed to flutter my wings, generating movement in both my thoughts and actions. I had to oscillate between different perspectives, mirroring the butterfly’s upward and downward movements. It was through these shifts that I could bring about movement and initiate a transformative impact in my own life.

“As you continue to send out love, the energy returns to you in a regenerating spiral…As love accumulates, it keeps your system in balance and harmony. Love is the tool, and more love is the end product.”
– Sara Paddison

How different would my life have been without love and the shared energies that brought balance to my surroundings? I was tempted by wealth, captivated by attractive bodies, and driven by my senses, often leading me to make irresponsible choices. However, love possessed the remarkable ability to foster balance, ensuring that nothing negative could arise from it. Receiving love in return for the love I gave was the ultimate reward.

Impatience consumed me, constantly yearning for quick results, and I felt betrayed when things didn’t unfold as I had planned. Yet, the Universe had shown me that everything happens for a reason, and understanding that reason required finding a state of balance. True growth remained elusive when my mind was restless or my body was ailing, and it was only through healing and inner peace that progress could be achieved.

I could pursue excess, but it was temperance that would calm my actions. I had the choice to withdraw and isolate myself in solitude, but justice would always reveal the truth. Those who experienced loneliness, illness, or instability would ultimately find their own sense of equilibrium. It was essential for me to maintain faith that the scales of life would never remain fixed, and that balance would eventually be restored for all of us.

“Something is always born of excess: great art was born of great terror, great loneliness, great inhibitions, instabilities, and it always balances them.”

― Anais Nin

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